Sitting in union square with a friend I couldnt help but to be fixated on the birds bellow me. I remember turning to her and saying “i wonder what they are perceiving” The birds are percieving the information around them in a completely different way, but does that make their reality any less real? We are constantly regulating the information around us. Perhaps those that have reached insanity really aren’t insane at all. Perhaps their brains are in constant hypersensitivity and their minds are sent into a mental overload. Think of it as perpetually tripping on acid. I honestly believe that when you are on hallucinogens you are perceiving the information around you in a way that is much closer to what is really going on around you. What is tangible isn’t necessarily what is really going on. There is a reason why our brains have to regulate the information around us, there is a reason that certain dimensions aren’t visible to our own existence and why we cannot see the energies that are constantly around us. Recieving all of this information would drive us over the edge. As with the birds in the park… humans must regulate the information to sustain their own existence. We have this strange way of thinking that what we are seeing is uttermost fact, that our own perception is absolute. In comparison to what? In the end we are a big wet floating ball in a vast expansive of nothingness. How on earth (no pun intended) can we actually perceive things in any actual totality of what it really is.
What is the point of social networking? of Facebook, of twitter, even of tumblr. What are we trying to convey to people. The strange thing is that even though we are all so connected it has created a great disconnection from one another. I know I am guilty, aren’t we all. The older I get the more sick and tired I’m getting of the world around me. I’m honestly starting to question everything in my life, from the school I go to, to the career I have chosen, to even question why I am here, what my purpose is in life and if I even have a purpose at all. I know it sounds negative, perhaps I am being negative. I do know that there are many beautiful things to live for on this planet its just getting harder and harder for me to see them at the moment. I wish things were perfect, but I’ve come to the realization that the Universe is nothing but chaos and that order and perfection don’t exist. I know that I need to diverge my energy into a more positive outlook on things. I wish that I just didn’t think about this, that I could just be like everyone else, that I could live my life without questioning everything in it. What is the fucking point of thinking about all these things, what good is it doing me? I feel so out of touch with reality that it really is starting to take a toll on me. I’m really starting to grasp why ignorance is bliss, because being ignorant guarantees you happiness.
There was an air of innocence to him upon first meeting, though after you got to know him you realized that innocent is the last thing this boy was. He was somewhat off kilter, a little bit on the crazy side. He was somewhat childlike… always diving into situations simply for the thrill of it without ever really thinking about the consequences. His intelligence was brilliant, but perhaps he allowed his intelligence to overlap many of his deep flaws. The strange thing about him was… at one moment he was the most positive person you could meet, and the next he was bursting with negativity. He would either use his ways of analyzing others to help them with their own issues, or to manipulate them for his own selfish needs. He has to be one of the most emotionally detached people that I have ever met. It’s hard for him to express how he feels to anyone, sometimes it really does make me question whether or not he truly does care for the people that love him. He doesn’t really have a filter, and for some reason he believes that he has to share every single thought he has with whoever is around him. His sarcasm made it hard for me to differentiate when he is being serious about things or when life is just a joke to him. He was very passionate about the way he saw the world, and has a lot of really philosophical things to say about life. Though I somewhat believe that he thought that the way he thought was absolute and anyone that disagreed with him was below him. He would always come up with some kind of excuse as to why he would do the things he would do. Blaming it on his “sign” or telling everyone around him that it was just in his nature. He didn’t believe that he could change his own behavior, when truthfully I just think its all a load of bullshit and that he had complete control over his actions. Even though he did get on my nerves sometimes, and he did talk way to much, I couldn’t help but to just find him somewhat charming. I hated him… yet I loved him at the exact same time.
| BITCH: | at least when I go out I dont end up in the hospital |
| ME: | yeah you just end up with a condom breaking and a fat chance at HIV, so much fucking better |
the universe is so vast an expansive how could one not think about it in all of its entirety, I cannot fathom why it is that the human being is so egotistical, that many seem to not even question their existence. Whats the point of it all? Why are we even here?
(Source: micelimonsterrx)
I just want to escape, there are so many thoughts racing through my mind all the time that I just don’t even know what to do with them, I’m so sick of being criticized, so sick of being judged. I am who I am, and there really is no way of escaping myself. I’m constantly wandering in the corridors of my mind, sometimes I feel like I’m never truly in reality, like I’m always just trying to escape everything. Is it so wrong that I use my thoughts as refuge against reality? I don’t know what to do with myself, I have so much that I have to deal with right now that I don’t know where to even start, and my mind really isn’t helping me.
how people STILL ask me if i sell pot. its like… I havent lived in miami for a year! no homie i dont sell…
(Source: micelimonsterrx)
i havent been in a date in a really long time, unless you count smoking pot getting drunk and fucking a date…
(Source: micelimonsterrx)
hm… not sure if I’ve made up my mind yet.
(Source: micelimonsterrx)
play mind games, when you like them, they don’t like you, when they like you, you don’t like them. Its all one big giant game, never be direct, be as evasive, elusive, and indifferent as possible. Its sad, but its nothing more than reality.
(Source: micelimonsterrx)
